Is it possible to introduce mental health topics and solutions to kids early on? The answer is yes! In fact, 93 percent of parents agree it’s important to be proactive about kids’ mental health according to the Kids Mental Health Foundation. However, only 40 percent of parents say they know how. The aim of this article is to briefly share how anxiety and depression may display in kids ages 4 to 18 and to impart a few strategies around discussing the topics with youngsters.
Conversations with youngsters on mental health are invaluable helping kids and families feel able, possibly boost self-confidence, and in order to grasp the concepts and possible coping mechanisms early on. There are many more mental health topics that actually can be shared which you can learn about here.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a normal feeling for children including fear and short-lived panic as long as those feelings don’t interrupt daily functions. According to the Kids Mental Health Foundation, signs of anxiety that may possibly be not so normal include:
- Distress and constant worry that is out of proportion with the situation (such as crying, anger, hopelessness or sadness).
- Consistent avoidance of typical activities or refusing to participate in social activities.
- Physical symptoms (such as headaches, stomach pain or shaking/trembling), which interfere with normal activity.
- Persistent sleep problems, nightmares or refusal to sleep alone.
- Consoling or reasoning with a child is repeatedly needed for ordinary situations.
Messages to Youngsters—When sharing with youngsters about anxiety, it’s important for them to understand what anxiety actually is in an easy-to-understand introduction and to encourage openness in the discussion of the topic. For most kids, anxiety can be explained using the following guide of key talking points:
- Anxiety can be a thought (mental) or feeling (physical) that can feel very scary.
- Anxiety is actually not dangerous and can sometimes be helpful in certain situations.
- Everybody experiences anxious feelings sometimes; it is normal.
A child’s understanding of anxiety may take time and might not happen overnight so remember to regularly check in with kids about the subject in general so they grasp it eventually. An ongoing conversation can be quite helpful at any age for a youngster.
Encouraging Openness—A few examples of questions that encourage openness around anxiety as a topic as well as help guide your discussion with kids or grandkids include:
- Can you tell me about a time when you felt nervous or scared? What did it feel like?
- What are some things that make you feel worried?
- When I was your age, I was scared of _____. Do you have that intense fear, also?
Remember to listen closely and nonjudgmentally to your kids in order to further the trust they give you especially during the ongoing conversation in the future. Be proactive in future conversations by setting the stage (i.e. having a daily routine of checking in), talking at times with low distractions (e.g. a family walk, bedtime or dinner time), and modeling a healthy behavior (e.g. sharing about your day, thoughts and feelings) in a way that is age appropriate.
Depression
Depression in youngsters may look different compared to the feeling in adults. Youngsters with signs of depression may:
- Feel sad, hopeless or empty
- Feel irritable or angry
- Lose interest in activities they enjoy
- Withdraw from friends and social activities
- Feel worthless
- Have low self-esteem
- Express guilt or shame
- Have difficulty concentrating or learning new information
- Experience suicidal thoughts or thoughts of hurting themselves
Physical symptoms to look for in youngsters include:
- Headaches
- Stomachaches
- Fatigue
- Sleeping more or less than usual
- Eating more or less than usual
Messages to Youngsters—When sharing about depression, it is key to let youngsters know it is okay and normal to feel sad from time to time for everybody. According to the Kids Mental Health Foundation, “showing them love and acceptance in their sadness may make it more likely that they’ll turn to you when things are tough. Giving them a support system may prevent future mental health concerns.” Encouraging openness is key to helping a child resolve sad feelings and to express their sadness to a parent. Some examples of questions and comments to encourage openness and trust include:
- What are some times you feel hopeless?
- What used to feel easy that feels much harder now?’
- I know it’s hard right now, but I know that you’re going to get through this. And I’m going to be with you every step of the way.
Remember to listen to their responses closely and be nonjudgmental in order to further their trust in you and your abilities to help. You can share an age-appropriate example of when you felt sad yourself to validate how feeling the emotion is normal.
Anxiety and depression are just two examples of key mental health topics that kids will eventually explore and need to understand how to cope with in their lives. There’s plenty of other mental health topics to share and more can be found here. Best of luck on your journey!