Research shows that when highly valuing happiness we can paradoxically make ourselves less happy. However, by valuing a range of emotions, we can set ourselves up for a realistic perspective to life and to possibly experience more joy.
The spices in life, which include deep grief and sadness, anger and frustration, irritation, pride and joy, fear and disgust, or pure happiness come at different times for everyone. The variety is almost guaranteed.
But why do some of us place so much priority on simply feeling happy?
The reason is culturally-rooted. Western society places a heavy emphasis on an individual’s happiness through financial success and career advancement, the latter of which are external conditions.
When we realize culture is dictating how we think, we free up more room in our minds to truly bring joy to ourselves through gratitude, physical exercise or other activities and or exercises that matter to us most.
This doesn’t mean we don’t value effort directed at achieving financial success. We can value financial wealth but just not overvalue it.
Another reason why highly valuing happiness does not help actually bring joy is that such individuals may actually ruminate more which can possibly lead to sadness and depressive symptoms especially when the don’t achieve feelings of happiness.
What can you do to value happiness the right amount?
Shift your mindset by:
1. Action: Value any and all effort to stay healthy, both physically and mentally.
Why: We may not be able to change the outcomes in our lives that alter health, either mentally or physically, but we can change our effort levels to do our best to stay healthy.
2. Action: Appreciate all different emotions and accept them when they come because, in doing so, we appreciate contrasting emotions. Put another way, if we don’t experience the dark, we can’t appreciate the light.
Why: Variety is the spice of life for all regardless of status, and when we appreciate the variety, we appreciate living in its truest form.
References
Mauss, I. B., Tamir, M., Anderson, C. L., & Savino, N. S. (2011). Can seeking happiness make people unhappy? [corrected] Paradoxical effects of valuing happiness. Emotion (Washington, D.C.), 11(4), 807–815. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022010
Takai, S., Hasegawa, A., Shigematsu, J., & Yamamoto, T. (2023). Do people who highly value happiness tend to ruminate?. Current psychology (New Brunswick, N.J.), 1–13. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-022-04131-6