Has trauma or grief impacted you recently? Do you revisit grief when you don’t necessarily want to? Does it feel overwhelming, like a wave of negativity washing over you?
This is normal.
Grief can trigger complex — and sometimes conflicting — emotions that include sadness, anger, frustration, or fear.
Such intense emotions are very common and can disrupt our mood or mindset. Another part of grief is asking, “Why me?” or “Why did this have to happen?” — as part of grief includes a loop of rumination and negative thinking. None of this, though, means that you are on the “worse path” or that your life is “ruined.” In fact, the very notion that you are able to feel grief is a sign that you are healing.
Putting Grief into Perspective
When we feel grief, it can sometimes feel like an undesired stain on our memories. Why is that? One reason is that grief interrupts emotional continuity. Perhaps before, we were happily moving along — and then a complex web of emotions was introduced, and our happy, stable mood was no longer warm and fuzzy. Often, we are given sadness we didn’t ask for.
What we can do to redirect ourselves is to block the wave of negativity by acting — by taking care of ourselves.
You can take a warm shower, eat a flavorful snack, go to the gym, or play a game, for example. Such effort can redirect our mood and shift us back to a stable, happier place.
Our direction in life can be very promising, despite feeling intense grief periodically. How we act to support ourselves and maintain self-care during such moments is key. And when we still do the activities that give our life meaning and purpose, that’s how we know we are headed in a positive direction.
Actionable Steps to Move Forward Through and After Grief:
1. Name the Emotion — Don’t Fight It
- Action: When you feel a wave of grief coming, pause and say: “This is grief. It’s okay to feel this.”
- Why: Naming what you feel reduces its emotional grip and reminds you that emotions are temporary visitors, not permanent states.
2. Use Small Sensory Rituals to Ground Yourself
- Action: Light a candle, take a warm shower, sip something flavorful, or focus on physical sensations (like holding an ice cube or petting an animal).
- Why: Engaging the senses interrupts spiraling thoughts and re-centers your body in the present.
3. Move — Even a Little
- Action: Take a 10-minute walk, stretch, do light chores, or go to the gym if you can.
- Why: Movement helps shift stuck emotions and boosts feel-good hormones like endorphins, helping to disrupt the “grief loop.”
4. Reconnect with One Thing That Brings You Purpose
- Action: Choose one meaningful activity (creative work, helping others, a hobby, or your job) and commit to showing up for it — even in a small way.
- Why: This reminds you that while grief is part of your story, it’s not the only story.
May you fill up on the emotions which give you purpose and direction in life that is rewarding and as fulfilling as possible.